Healing the Past: Understanding and Breaking the Cycle of Intergenerational Trauma

Trauma doesn’t always begin with us; sometimes, it’s something we inherit. The stories we’re told (or not told) by our families, the silence around painful events, and even our bodies’ responses to stress can be echoes of events from generations before. This phenomenon is called intergenerational trauma, and it shapes the emotional and psychological lives of individuals and families in ways that often go unseen or unspoken. In this blog, we will unpack what exactly intergenerational trauma is and some tips to break the cycle of intergenerational trauma.

What Is Intergenerational Trauma?

In recent years, mental health professionals, researchers, and communities have begun to recognize how deeply the wounds of the past can impact the present. Whether rooted in war, displacement, colonization, abuse, or poverty, unresolved trauma has a way of travelling across generations. The good news? Trauma may be passed down, but so can healing.

Intergenerational trauma (also called transgenerational trauma) refers to the transmission of traumatic experiences and their effects from one generation to the next. This can happen through:

• Behavioural modelling (e.g., anxious or avoidant parenting styles),

• Family narratives (e.g., unspoken rules or stories about survival),

• Cultural and societal messages (e.g., systemic racism, colonization), and

• Biological pathways, including epigenetics (changes in how genes are expressed).

For example, the child of a Holocaust survivor may grow up with a heightened sense of fear or guilt despite not experiencing the trauma directly. Similarly, descendants of Indigenous communities affected by residential schools or genocide may carry the emotional residue of those losses in the form of depression, identity confusion, or addiction.

How Does Trauma Get Passed Down?

Trauma is stored not just in memory but in the nervous system. When a parent or caregiver is living in a chronic state of stress, their emotional regulation, attachment style, and coping mechanisms are shaped by that stress. These are then communicated, intentionally or not, to their children.

Some key pathways of how intergeneration trauma is passed down include:

1. Attachment Disruptions: A caregiver who is emotionally unavailable, fearful, or overly controlling may unintentionally teach their child that the world is unsafe or that their emotions are too much.

   
   

2. Silence and Shame: Families often avoid talking about traumatic events. This silence can leave children feeling confused, disconnected, or as though they’re carrying an invisible burden.

   
   

3. Family Roles and Rules: Trauma can shape family dynamics, assigning certain roles (e.g., the caretaker, the scapegoat) or rules (e.g., “Don’t talk about feelings,” “Always stay strong”) that stifle emotional expression and authenticity.

   
   

4. Cultural Trauma and Systemic Oppression: When entire communities experience collective trauma such as colonization, slavery, forced migration, or systemic violence, the effects are felt long after the events themselves. These traumas are reinforced through institutions, policies, and social norms.

   
   

Signs You May Be Affected by Intergenerational Trauma

Because intergenerational trauma can be subtle, many people don’t realize its impact until they start unpacking their own emotional struggles. You might be affected by intergenerational trauma if:

• You feel an unexplained heaviness or a sense of guilt.

• You struggle with identity, belonging, or low self-worth.

• You experience intense emotional reactions without a clear trigger.

• You notice recurring patterns of dysfunction in your family (e.g., addiction, abuse, estrangement).

• You feel pressure to be the “strong one” or “break the cycle.”

  
  

It’s not uncommon to feel like you’re carrying the emotional weight of others, especially when you're the first in your family to seek therapy or choose a different path.

The Science Behind Intergenerational Trauma

Epigenetics is the study of how behaviour and environment affect gene expression, and it is offering fascinating insight into how trauma can be passed down biologically. Research has shown that traumatic experiences can alter how genes are expressed, impacting stress responses in future generations. For instance, descendants of people who survived famines or genocides may have different cortisol (stress hormone) levels than those without such a family history.

While this may sound discouraging, it also means that healing can influence gene expression, too. Nurturing environments, emotional processing, and healthy relationships can help “switch off” stress-related responses and promote resilience.

There is a whole slew of fascinating scholarly articles on this topic, if you enjoy learning about the how & why from a scientific lens - check out this page via Google Scholar.

Breaking the Cycle of Intergenerational Trauma

Healing intergenerational trauma doesn’t happen overnight, and it rarely follows a straight path. But it is possible, and it often begins with awareness.

Here are some ways individuals and families can begin the healing journey and break the cycle of intergenerational trauma:

1. Name the Trauma

What isn’t named can’t be healed. Begin by exploring your family’s history: ask questions, notice patterns, and reflect on unspoken truths. You don’t need all the answers; even naming that trauma exists can be liberating.

2. Seek Therapeutic Support

Therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Internal Family Systems (IFS), Narrative Therapy, and Somatic Experiencing are particularly effective in working with trauma. A culturally informed, trauma-sensitive therapist can help you process inherited pain without re-traumatizing you.

3. Connect with Your Body

Because trauma often lives in the body, healing must be embodied. Practices like breathwork, Reiki, yoga, grounding exercises, self-soothing, and mindful movement can help regulate your nervous system and create a sense of safety.

4. Create Rituals and Community

Rituals, both personal and cultural, can be powerful in healing generational pain. Whether it’s lighting a candle, creating an altar, attending community ceremonies, or practicing ancestral connection, ritual gives form to emotions that words often can’t.

Resources to Help Heal from Intergenerational Trauma

If you are looking for more support on how to heal from intergenerational trauma, check out these great book recommendations:

1. It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn

A foundational work that explores how unspoken family traumas shape our lives and provides a roadmap for transforming those inherited patterns through his specific therapeutic approach.

2. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

Focused on how caregivers’ emotional unavailability, often rooted in their own trauma, affects adult children, this book offers practical tools for reclaiming emotional autonomy.

3. My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem

Interweaving racialized trauma, somatic healing, and intergenerational wounds, this guide explores how systemic oppression lives in the body and how we can begin to release it.

4. What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo

A memoir that uncovers the author’s personal journey healing from complex trauma rooted in her immigrant background, offering both insight and hope.

5. Break the Cycle by Mariel Buqué

Written by a trauma psychologist, this “definitive guide” merges science, therapy exercises, and ancestral wisdom to help individuals disrupt inherited pain and cultivate intergenerational resilience.

Conclusion

Healing intergenerational trauma often feels like standing at a crossroads: one path continues the legacy of pain, silence, and survival; the other leads to vulnerability, healing, and transformation. Being the person to walk the second path takes courage, but it also opens the door for others to follow.

Intergenerational trauma is real, but so is intergenerational healing. The act of tending to wounds that aren’t solely our own is an act of love toward ourselves, our families, and future generations.

If you’re navigating this path, know that your work matters. Every choice you make to show up, speak out, or soften in the face of inherited pain becomes a ripple of healing across time.

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Our team of online and in-person Barrie counsellors provide quality and effective counselling services in Barrie and virtually across Ontario to individuals (6+), couples and families. We also offer an Affordable Therapy Program that provides counselling services in Barrie to individuals (12+) who are facing financial challenges that need mental health support.